★★★★★
“I asked it who was saying it and it played smooth jazz for eleven minutes.”
Smart Home
MAGA Alexa™
Many people are saying…
$129.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
Other smart assistants cite sources, which invites scrutiny. MAGA Alexa™ draws instead on a vast, unnamed body of people who are saying things — a corpus that is always available, never wrong, and impossible to check.
Ask it the weather. Many people are saying it is nice. Ask it the time. Many people are saying it is later than you think.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
4-microphone far-field array; unsourced consensus engineAttribution-free information delivery
Uses
- Answers any question with what many people are saying
- Sets timers, which many people are saying is useful
Warnings
- Device cannot name a single one of these people.
- Follow-up questions increase the number of people saying it.
- Always listening. Many people are saying that is fine.
Directions
- Say the wake word.
- Ask anything.
- Do not ask who.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.