★★★★★
“I have never slept on this mattress and I look forward to sleeping on it again.”
Sleep & Memory
MAGA Memory Foam™
Contours to your position. Then forgets it.
$1199.76$1899.76
Ships in 3–5 business days from a warehouse that does not exist.
Traditional memory foam remembers the shape of your body. That is a liability. MAGA Memory Foam™ conforms perfectly to whatever position you take, holds it for up to 24 hours, and then returns to factory flat with no record that the position was ever taken.
Available in Twin, Queen, King, and Executive. Ships compressed in a box, which is also how it handles inconvenient history.
ParodyNot for saleNot medical advice
Drug Facts
Active ingredientPurpose
Open-cell viscoelastic foam, 24-hour retention ceilingPositional amnesia
Uses
- Supports any position, briefly
- Eliminates the physical evidence of previous positions
Warnings
- Do not attempt to hold a position for more than 24 hours. The foam will not participate.
- Not responsible for positions taken, abandoned, or denied.
- If you remember what you said yesterday, the mattress is defective. You are not.
Directions
- Unbox. Allow 48 hours to expand and 24 hours to forget the unboxing.
Other information
100-night trial. We will have no memory of night one.
Questions? There is no number to call. This panel is a parody of the FDA Drug Facts label. Nothing described here exists, and nothing here is medical advice.
Verified* Reviews
*Not verified. Not reviews. Not real people.
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